If your palms sweat at the thought of starting, holding, or even exiting a conversation, we may just be kindred spirits.
Anxious, uncomfortable, and exceptionally good at awkward conversation.
But instead of discussing my verbal blunders, I wanted to share some tips and tricks that have helped me improve my conversation skills (slowly but surely). They’re pretty straightforward, but not always easy to implement.
13 Conversation Tips, Tricks, Mindset Shifts, etc.
1. Ask HOW or WHAT rather than WHY.
- Ex: “What made you choose that career path?”
2. Strive to make people feel good about themselves.
- Stick to topics or statements that evoke positive feelings. Stray from the negative!
3. Practice conversation threading.
4. Ask open-ended questions.
5. Find something to laugh about (genuinely) with the other person.
6. Think “Yes, and…”
- Using this basic tenet of improv, train yourself to build upon what the other person has to say. By doing so, you keep the conversation flowing and build rapport. Say, “yes, and…” rather than “yes, but…”
7. Listen to understand, not to respond.
- Focus more on the other person and less on yourself. (a.k.a. be present!)
8. Don’t feel obliged to agree with everything the other person says.
9. Tap into emotion. Connect with people on an emotional level.
10. Speak in statements!
- When you speak to people, try using statements. Talk as though people want to hear what you have to say. (This is a tip from Lilly Singh’s book, “How to Be a Bawse.”)
11. Share a related anecdote.
- Or simply state your feelings about what was said (if you can’t think of a story).
12. Try to initiate the conversation instead of waiting to be approached.
- Start with a warm smile or greeting.
13. Remember to breathe!
(Sources: books, articles, reddit forums, and youtube videos…basically the Internet)
In the end, it all comes down to practice, right? No matter how many videos you’ve watched, courses you’ve taken, or books you’ve read, nothing will teach you more than actually going out there and putting yourself in situations that call for…sigh..human interaction. Take the time to test it all out and hopefully something sticks!
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